Miss Patty Puff and her Two Sweethearts

There was a gay man milliner his name was Timmy Twist,
And making caps and bonnets he?d a might pretty fist.
With his snips and shreads and fitting heads his gauze and gimp long thread and needle
O he lov?d a pastry cook and he thought her heart to wheedle,
Whack falare, bow wow,
There was a spruce shoemaker a dabster at an awl,
They call?d him Billy Boot and he kept and pretty stall.
With his las and shoe and lapstone too his wax end grinding strap and hammer,
O he lov?d this pastry cook too, and her many a crammer
Whack falare, &c.
Miss Patty Puff thus lov?d by both, and loving both they say,
Was like a donkey in the tail between two stacks of hay,
With her flames and darts and apple tarts her ices triffles cherry brandy,
O she knew not which to choose for she thought?em both the dandy,
Whack falare, &c.
The rivals fought ? their seconds charged their pistols for attacks;
Tommy Twist?s with cotton balls and Billy Boots with cobbler?s wax,
With their jeers and jokes a funny hoax their powder priming and their paces,
Tho? they?d courage in their hearts they?d dishclouts in their faces.
Whack falare, &c.
The seconds signals gave to fire when Tommy swoon?d away,
And Billy no observing it ran off without delay,
With his paste and pegs his nimble legs while both the seconds laugh and hoot him.
Oh, he stuck fast in a ledge & roar?d lest Tim should come and shoot him.
Whack falare, &c.
Now all you modern heroes would your credit save from fights
Besure you tell the constable when challenges you write,
With your guns and swords and great big words that oft great stomachs come to clever
O they?ll bind you to the peace and you may brag as much as ever,
Whack falare, &c.

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