The London Sights

I?se a poor country lad and bumble?s r y lot,
I?m come up to London to see what is what,
Folks call I a fool if I be so don?t frown,
I have a pretty good pack of relations in town.

Some folk in the street by the Lord make me stare
So comical droll is the dress that they wear,
For the gentlemen?s waist is a top o their back,
And the large Cussack trowsers fit like a sack.

Then the ladies their dresses are equally queer
They wear such large bonnets their faces can?t appear,
It puts me in mind don?t think I am a joker,
Of a coal skuttle stuck on the head of a poker.

In their bonnets they wear green leaves such a power
It puts me in mind of a great cauliflower
And their legs I am sure must be ready to freeze
For the wear all their petticoats up to their knees

They carry large baskets full of trinkets and lockets
Because the faithless know not to wear any pockets
And to keep off the ?? from every beholder
They throw a large cabbage net over their shoulder

I went to the Opera I think it was the place
I did not much like that bit I may want grace
Such squeaking and squalling and dancing by a me
Talk ?? legs I came out I was really ???

I went to a place which is called a Bazaar
A place that beats all others by far
I was asked by a lady to buy at a stall
Like most other folks I bought nothing at all

Then the beaux wear large stiffners tied round the neck
A large flashy collar that covers the cheek,
Since the times are so hard the fashion I?ll follow
If I can?t get a shirt I will ever wear a collar

But most of the fashion that doth puzzle I
Is to see the folks cock up a glass to their eye,
Since boxing the vogue is their plan no doubt
To keep one eye in store till the others knocked out

Since the great coats in fashion no skirts could be found
Not the cloth is got dear the skirt is on the ground
So out bucks look like monkeys I?ll prove on the nail
For a monkey is known by the length of his tail.

However the fashions are given to range
In your smiled and your favours I hope for no change
Your kind approbation I will study to keep
And to please you I?ll sing till you are all fast asleep